This week I was down 3.8 pounds. This makes a total of 20.6 pounds (12.2 of those in this year) removed and… drum roll please… 5% of my starting weight. Weight Watchers doesn’t celebrate this milestone anymore, but I’m going to because I need the validation!

So I was thinking this evening about all this and if I feel any different.

The answer: not really.

I started this by saying I was tired of being in pain. I will say my knee is on the mend, but it’s far from healed. My feet still hurt, but not as much. I’ve gone to physical therapy and got some stretches which have helped. I’ve started seeing a chiropractor, another positive step. But there is still a lot of discomfort.

Do I feel fitter? Maybe a little. I’ve been noticing that my short walks around the building have merged into two trips around the building to use up break time. My breathing is better. And when the dog asks to go the extra block on our evening walks, I say yes more often than no. But I don’t feel a lot better.

Do I notice a difference in how I look? Or how my clothes fit? Not really. When you are as fat as I am, all clothes have so much give that it takes a while before there is any appreciable difference. The last few days some pants have been feeling consistently loose, but I’m not even thinking about going down a size in my closet yet.

So what’s the upside here? The little things I mentioned above are starting to sink in. My digestive track is certainly responding well to my new regime (ah, fiber…) But by and large, I am relying on numbers to tell the tale.

I wait for the scale to tell me how I did this week.

I let the Weight Watchers points tell me what to eat or how bad I’ve been.

I let the FitBit tell me if I need to get in a few more blocks at night.

I’m very much in the white-knuckle phase of this journey still. I don’t know what I’m doing, so I’m holding onto what I have to get me by.

So for the next week, am I going to change my goals? Nope.

• Tracking
• No Frappachinos (didn’t buy them this week, so it’s ON!)
• Eating my prepared food
• Hit 10,000 all seven days, taking at least one break/lunch walk

And I didn’t figure out a weekend plan, but it’s still on the burner. I had a good weekend, and I think it showed, but a plan has not emerged yet.

On Tuesday, I posted this picture on Weight Watcher’s social media app “Connect.”

I want chocolate. I’m eating this.

I also contacted the WW help app to grumble and be reminded about “long term goals.”

This was after a week of tracking, three days in the “blue dot zone”, and seven days of hitting my FitBit 10,000 steps a day.

Did I give into chocolate? Yes, I had a small chocolate bar.

But… I also removed three pounds (3.8 to be exact) for a total loss of 14 pounds since my highest weight (which sadly wasn’t four years ago, but was this last summer.)

I may not be rocking this, but my little steps are starting to gain some momentum.

My knee is also less painful, though it still feels weak and occasionally shoots pain. I start physical therapy on Friday.

My feet are also a little better, though I attribute that to using my arch supports every day, instead of just when I wear a certain pair of shoes.

For the next week, I’m going to stick to my tried and true goals, though bump them up a little.

• Tracking – 7 days, 3 in “blue dot” zone
• Have 1 Frapachino in the morning
• Eating my prepared food – 5 days
• Hit 10,000 all seven days, taking at least one break/lunch walk

I will also note that I will be out of town for three days, so my goal there will be to show a small amount of restraint when eating out.

On a last note, I bought a tiny little calendar to hang in my bathroom. I’ve decided to take this small step thing to other areas, such as flossing my teeth, doing my inhaler, and putting on my face cream (MetroGel.)

I’m calling it my Care Calendar.

I’m pretty pleased with myself.