opprobrious [uh-proh-bree-uhs] (adjective): outrageously disgraceful or shameful.
There are many reasons why this seems like a good title for today’s post. Whatever your guess, you probably aren’t wrong. (Seriously? We are here again?) But the introduction I meant to start had to do with my travels over the last week.
A week ago Saturday, Key and I went to a nosework trial. He did wonderful, and though we missed one hide, it was good enough to earn a leg toward the three qualifying scores we need to move out of NW3. Sunday, I headed down to the beach house with the intention of staying down for a couple of weeks. Monday was a holiday, and the July 4th holiday isn’t far away; I thought it would be a good time to spend some time getting some vitamin sea. I packed up in something of a hurry, taking only the bare necessities. I was tired and I knew I’d have to come back to be in the office on Tuesday (because that is the day I am required to come into the office now.) I figured I could pack up more thoroughly after work and head down for good. Once at the coast, I couldn’t seem to settle, and I ended up returning to Keizer Monday night.
After work Tuesday, I packed up the car much more thoroughly and headed back down to the coast. Everything would have been fine this time, except I forgot the power cord to my work laptop. By 1pm on Wednesday, I was out of power and all my ideas were not panning out. The nearest retailer I could find was 1 hour away. So, I decided to drive the 1.5 hours back home to get the cord and drive back.
Probably, at this point, I should have given up. But you know me and a plan. I got back Wednesday and with power in place, worked Thursday and Friday. But Saturday I just couldn’t settle. A package had been delivered the day before, and I knew I’d have to come back to Salem on Tuesday. The dentist had (finally) called back with an appointment on Friday for my crown, so I couldn’t stay down for a stretch of time. A few days at best. So, I loaded up the kids (and the other requirements) and returned to Keizer. Miracle of miracles, once back home, I have actually made some progress on art stuff.
The package that was delivered was full of frames for the art that is headed up to the Emerald Downs Equine Art Show! I spent a couple of hours getting all the mats and framed assembled (and fending of the animal hair that wants to stick to the white mats). So, that’s one little task done. I’ll ship that off in about a week.
I also spent some time actually drawing and painting. I am working on a project (actually, several…) and there isn’t much to show right now. But this is one item I am willing to show.
tentatively titled “Patience”
I can still see a few places that need some adjustment, but it always takes a while to get there.
I’m toying with the idea of sending this to the American Academy of Equine Art show, even though it’s monochrome. What do you think? With COVID, the AAEA has not had many shows for the last couple of years, so I have a few possibles to choose from. Three of my current best are going up to Emerald Downs, and I frequently make a sale from that show. With the deadline on the 17th, I don’t want to enter something that is potentially sold. Here are a few options.
It’s pretty competitive, so even a few of these won’t make my final cut. In addition, I really don’t want to ship a couple of my large pieces across the country, so I’m trying to limit it to smaller pieces.
5:00 am – Wake up due to back pain. Roll around a little trying to get comfortable, ignoring the hopeful panting of the dog. Finally, I give up and feed the crew, then get dressed, etc.
6:00 am – Arrive at the park. Check on the red-tailed hawk (RTH) nest. I see a baby today!
7:00 am – On way back from park get groceries.
8:00 am – Food stowed, begin downloading photos of RTH nest to see if I really did see a baby. Spend far too long creating the above video.
10:00 am – Must get serious. Clean off art table area.
11:00 am – Now I can work. Eye the various projects. Not appealing. I’ll start something new.
12:00 pm – Lunch.
1:00 pm – Return to work. Accidently pick up an in-progress piece and finish. This is a first draft of my piece for the Hoffman Gallery‘s October show “Word & Image”. Lauren Mallett has provided a poem worthy of a thousand ideas, and this is just the first one.
2:00 pm -I can’t possibly paint. The dog needs a walk.
3:00 pm – Okay. Focus. I volunteered to teach an exploratory seminar at the fall WSO convention titled “Dynamic value studies with liquid charcoal”. Maybe I should learn something about it? Spend the rest of my day applying washes, watching videos, creating my presentation, and sorting through reference photos.
6:00 pm – Dinner, then movie.
Sunday
5:00 am – Wake up due to back pain. I’m tired of this. My alarm is at 6:00.
6:00 am – Arrive at the park. I see two babies today!
7:00 am – Begin weekly food prep. Trying to work on eating just a little better. (Secret goal – to loose 10 pounds by Labor Day.)
8:00 am – Play a computer game. Eye my art pile guiltily.
9:00 am – Leave for dog nosework practice.
1:00 pm – Return home. Finish food prep.
2:00 pm – Work more on my presentation. Already a bunch of ideas haven’t worked out. If I ever do this again, I’m going to make sure I know what I’m doing BEFORE I volunteer.
My plan is to do an intro, do a warm up, then provide three exercises on pre-loaded paper. Pears seem like a good way to start. Simple, but lots of room for lights and darks.
Second exercise is something with a figure. Heron? This isn’t bad, but I think the drawing element might freak out some people. Back to drawing board (ha!)
Finally, I want to end with something that plays with adding color for excitement. A landscape?
A dark and stormy night..
I added an opaque peach. Not dramatic enough.
Digitally tried purple. Maybe?
Well, I have until September to get it right.
4:00 pm – A little sound goes off in my head. I have deadlines coming up. I look through the pile. The Emerald Downs Equine Art Show! I spend too much money at American Frame picking out simple frames for my three selected pieces. The paintings will need to be shipped in mid July, but my experience is that it’s better to order sooner rather than later. I write out a check and fill out the entries forms for the show. In the mail tomorrow.
Which pieces you wonder?
“Trust”
“Warm Hands”
“Three Rings”
5:00 pm – That reminds me, I need to send in an entry for the American Academy of Equine Art. When is that deadline again? (July 17.)
And now I’m writing my weekly blog before I settle down for a Sunday evening. Oh, wait. Laundry… that’s right.
I’m tired. Can I go back to my day job?
Addendum
I hit post and then remembered I wanted to tell a pair of friends my thoughts are with them.
The amazing “L”, hero of weeks past, lost her father this week. It was not unexpected, but it’s always hard.
And I heard a couple of days ago that an instructor I know lost her husband this week to a COVID-related illness. My heart goes out to the family.
It’s been a busy week. The Jean Pederson workshop is still very much on my mind, but other artistic ventures have crept into my available time.
First, and most excitingly, the dual show between Sandra Pearce and myself went up on Wednesday. We put together this little preview, hoping to entice a few people to come see it.
For those who can’t come see the show, or simply want to ponder their options, I have created a page with all my available paintings listed. Sandra put out a newsletter with all her happenings. I did as well, but I’m hoping you have already signed up for that; if not, it’s easy! Just sign up to the right of this post.
Saturday I was planning to drive down to Eugene to pick up “Glisten”, but the gallery sold it, saving me the trip. It’s always so exciting to get that red dot award.
Glisten
Having been saved a three-hour round trip, I actually put the time to use sketching out some ideas for a show that’s happening in October. A few weeks ago, I was notified that I had been accepted into the Hoffman Gallery‘s October show “Word & Image”. Twelve writer and twelve artists are randomly paired to engage in.Ekphrasis (the art of responding to work in different media.) Friday night I attended an online “Pariing Party” and learned my partner is the incredibly talented Lauren Mallett. I have a choice of three poems to choose from and then I must create a work of art in response to the piece. I have chosen a poem called “Drains to River”, but I haven’t decided just what to do with all my ideas. I have until the end of July, which really isn’t much time at all! Lauren also has been provided with three of my paintings (see below) and must create a writing about one of them.
Page 1: The painting poet Lauren Mallett wrong a new poem about.
A few other random art things surface now and then, but I think that covers at least this week.
If you’ve read this far, I wanted to provide a little update on my mental health. It’s good. The new drug regimen seems to be working a treat. I’m back to working full time and even caught myself singing along to a favorite song in the car the other day. It just feels good.
My apologies for anyone who was following along. I got home after the Jean Pederson workshop last evening, unpacked the car, and then just kind of hit the couch. I was tired from the workshop, but also from being awake for a few hours the night before with “stomach” issues.
Warm Up
ABC by the Jackson Five
Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash
Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star by Barney
Pretty Woman by Roy Orbison
In addition to the above, there were two others (Bad Guy by Billie Eilish and All About That Base by Megan Trainor) that I painted over before getting a proper photo. (Note: Ring of Fire and Twinkle were started with a red gesso base, not a white gesso base.)
I really enjoyed these warmups. I would highly encourage anyone interested in loosening up to try it.
Sketching
Next we did some life drawing by proxy. Jean put some images from a modeling session she had been to up on the media screens and we did a series of ten 2-minute sketches. Nothing terribly exciting, but we were working more on gesture and shape than capturing detail.
Putting It All Together
Finally, we were asked to transfer one of the sketches onto one of the collages from Day 2 (the last image here I did on my own, during demo time.)
Me Too
Attitude (the base on this is the warmup to “Bad Guy” by Billie Eillish)
Sari
All About the Race (the base layer on this is the warmup to “All About That Base” by Megan Trainor)
I don’t think any of these are finished. “Me Too” and “Attitude” might be the closest, but I still see some work on those.
I was starting to work on the exercise, and I got to a point where I was stuck. It was all these fun colors, but nothing really stood out enough to make an actual figure. Jean asked the room if anyone needed help, and she came over. I said, “Well, I’m doing what I always do. ‘Here’s a color, there’s a color, everywhere a color color’.” Studying the painting for a moment I said, “I get that it needs neutrals which would help the values, but I’m stuck.” Jean paused for a moment and said, “That’s an important question.” And took a photo of my painting and put it up on one of the screens and manipulated the image on her pad to show how to use the neutrals to develop the painting. I painted along with her suggestions (didn’t take a couple) and felt like I gained a lot. From this, I did “Attitude” and then started on “Sari”.
I’ll write a summary of things in a few days, but for right now I’ll just report it was one of the best workshops I have taken. While I probably won’t be doing huge numbers of humans, I am excited about the possibilities this opens up for animals. In particular, horses.
The streak continues! Day 2 of the Jean Pederson workshop ended with all five goals met and NO MELTDOWNS! I will admit there was a heating up when I got hungry for lunch and at the end of the day when I was just tired, but both times I evaluated the situation and made healthy choices. Yeah!!!
The Warm Ups
Like yesterday, we did six song-warmups; however, I have done an even worse job remembering the tunes.
Exercise 1: La Grange by ZZ Top
Exercise 2: Jolene by Dolly Parton
Exercise 3: A song I don’t remember, but I did like.
Exercise 4: Spiders and Snakes by Jim Stafford
Exercise 5: The Monster Mash
Exercise 6 – Fireball by Pit Bull
After this, we had a little lecture on the duality of modern artists and how they can have more than their most famous style and how this dual nature helped with the abstracting of their work (it made more sense than this, I promoise.)
With that, we turned to working on creating a collage (or two). The idea was to work on a white/blank piece of paper and do a collage, feeling intuitively for what felt right in the placement of pieces. I sucked at this. I couldn’t seem to bond with the idea.
Cannon Beach Walker
The Kite
The next exercise was about finding arrangements of shapes. We went around the classroom taking heavily cropped pictures of various things (like cracks in the floor, brushes piled on top of each other, etc.) and then came back to our desk to turn these into six value sketches, working on the idea of arrangement of shape more than representation.
Then we were supposed to take the value study we liked best and go over the collage we had created earlier, using a color study we liked (I got a little lost about where the color study came from. Yesterday?) Being a little lost, I picked out my colors and did a study.
Then did a second edition on a failed collage piece I had in my pile.
\
The black part of the bottom is where I put gesso over it and I’ll come back tomorrow to try to get that part right.
During breaks, lectures, etc. I did the following.
Bee and flower from yesterday’s sketching
Self portrait
Tomorrow is the final day. Then it will be the dentist and back to the real world!
Well, I am delighted to report that I did well on day one of the Jean Pederson workshop. I accomplished all five goals (see yesterday’s post) from the workshop. And… NO MELTDOWNS! I am feeling so good. But let’s talk about what you all want to know, namely, what did we do.
Getting Started
To start the day, Jean gave us the briefest of lectures (love this) and then got us painting. We were told to bring 6 pieces of “scrap” paper in a large dimension each day. Then Jean played a song (see song list below painting) and encouraged us to feel (and paint) the colors of the song and make marks about how we felt about it.
Exercise 1: Honey I’m Good by Andy Grammer
Exercise 2: A children’s song played on the piano
Exercise 3: Freedom by John Baptiste
Exercise 4: Down by the Riverside by Louis Armstrong
By the time we finished this warm up, it was late in the morning, and we were treated to another lecture / demo. For the day’s class we would focus on flowers. She started us out by having us do 10 sketches of floral bouquets she put up on her screen (about 2 minutes per sketch.) Then we were to take our favorite of the sketches and re-draw it onto the ground of our choice, whether that was plain white paper (generally discourages) or one of the sketches from earlier in the day. In my usual work fast and don’t listen to directions way I added paint to one of the sketches.
Real Painting
Then I started on a different, real piece of paper (had a sort of peachy background).
It was hard because i struggled with some design elements, but I ended up pretty pleased, especially when Jean mocked up a mat for it!
During the various lectures, I did some sketching of my own. I added paint to this one because the sketching got away from me.
I like it.
Tomorrow we will be working on pure abstracts. I can’t wait.
nubilous [ noo-buh-luhs, nyoo- ] (adjective) – cloudy or foggy
Today I had made arrangements with a friend to meet and take our dogs for a walk. It has been muggy for a few days, but generally dry (okay, dry-ish.) So, we met at the park… and it promptly started raining. Sounds about like our luck. We still had a good time and the dogs didn’t care.
Nubilous also seems like a good description of my current mental state, something very much on my mind. Not in the way of “dark and gloomy” cloudy but more like “changing and could clear up.” I am delighted to report that is has now been six days (6!) since I had a breakdown. I haven’t cried, collapsed in a pile, hid under the bed, or otherwise failed to cope. There were even a few times when something annoyed or upset me and I was able to shrug and say, “Meh.” I even–queue the ticker tape parade–went to a meeting.
This week will be a bit of a test; I’ll either move ahead or have to take a step back. Of course, I know it won’t be that cut and dried, but it doesn’t prevent me from hoping.
Workshop
Monday-Wednesday of this week I will not be going to work; instead, I will be taking a workshop from Jean Pederson, who I’ve wanted to workshop for a while now. My goals for the workshop are pretty humble.
If I get overwhelmed, take a break.
Tolerate other humans for at least 6 of the total 18 hours of workshop time.
Bring breakfast and lunch and eat it.
Enjoy myself.
Learn something if I can.
This list seems extremely pitiful, but it’s where I am now. If I manage to survive the workshop, Thursday morning I have to go into the dentist for a (long-awaited) emergency appointment. I either popped out a filling or broke a tooth. It does hurt (thank goodness) but it’s sharper than all get out. After the appointment, I’d like to “return” to work, but if I get a lot of drugs I’m not even gonna try. I don’t need any more marks on my permanent record!
Jean Pederson is known as being an experimental artist, so the directions for workshop supplies have created something of a disaster in my studio this week. I’ve been gessoing over old paintings and creating some collage papers. Also, I had to order some acrylics, and the packaging for that box has been entertaining the kittens for days. I’ll try to post any worthy results (if any) over the next week.
Dentist & Work
If I don’t have meltfown over the course of this strenuous week, I will work an entire eight hours (gasp) on Friday. And then return to work full time the following week. At least, that’s the plan.
Painting
In between trashing my studio, I did actually do a little painting. I worked up these two crane paintings and started them. I’m not sure about where they are going, but at least I’m applying paint.
Shall We Dance
Sometimes You Gotta Dance
Both pieces still have masking fluid on them, so they are very rough. Long way to go.
Show News
I got a small piece of good news this week. My application to Words & Images at the Hoffman Center for Arts (aka Hoffman Gallery) was accepted.
Word & Image takes the Greek tradition of Ekphrasis — which is writing in response to art, and turns the tables to include art in response to writing. The combinations of word and image that result often reveal surprising new layers of meaning, and give both artists and writers the rare opportunity to see their art reflected in the work of another’s. Writers and artists are randomly paired and have approximately six weeks to create new work. The paired pieces are exhibited in the form of broadsides in the Hoffman Gallery and also collected in a keepsake book, both of which are for sale. Word & Image is produced in even-numbered years.
This event is similar to the Salem Reads exhibits I’ve painted for the last few years. I’m excited for June 3 when I’ll be assigned my writer!
And don’t forget, the Emerald Art Center has the lovely 16th Annual Emerald Spring Exhibition 2022 at the Emerald Art Center until the end of May.
When my parents were around, we had a bit of saying about “Choate Plan B”. Essentially, we’d make a plan (vacation, dinner, whatever) and then something would happen, and the plan would change. I think this is normal and something most groups of people face; groups of people are full of humans, and what could be more chaotic than humans?
This post is about three plans that changed.
Plan: Emerald Art Center Show
This weekend, the 16th Annual Emerald Spring Exhibition 2022 at the Emerald Art Center in Springfield opened. I drove down to the opening on Saturday night, which was lovely. Unfortunately, the trip was a marred by the fact that I had been hoping to go to dinner with some friends who had had their plans change. My friends made a point to go to the exhibit earlier in the week, and commented how lovely it was, but we didn’t get a chance to catch up over dinner. The exhibit runs from May 3 – June 3 and next Friday is the 2nd Friday Art Walk, May 13th, 5:30 – 7:30pm.
Glisten
Plan: Keizer Community Gallery Show (Brush Buddies)
Last summer I submitted a proposal for a sculpture; to my shock, the proposal was accepted (no word on when it will all come together because they are still fundraising.) During this project the head of the committee asked me if I would be interested in displaying my paintings in the Keizer Community Center (930 Chemawa Road NE, Keizer, Oregon 97303) which had room for 60 paintings. I said of course and we booked June and July for whatever show I came up with (it’s worth noting the show does need to be approved, but I don’t see that as a huge obstacle. My paintings are usually pretty “G” rated.)
With 60 paintings to come up with, I started going through my inventory of already-framed paintings. I came up with about 35; though it wouldn’t be any trouble to come up with the additional 25, the cost of framing them (assume each painting costs $100 to frame, so that’s an additional $2500 out of pocket) seemed prohibitive for a show that looks great on a resume but probably wouldn’t generate a huge number of sales. In addition, once framed, each piece would have to be carefully stored and generally looked over. So, I asked my friend, Sandra Pearce, if she’d be interested in taking the other half of the show. She went through her inventory and came up with just under 30 framed pieces, so she agreed.
Before the show can go up, we had to submit photos and an inventory, which we’ve been working on for a few weeks now. I wanted to create a theme for the show and dithered around about that for a while. But last week we turned in our paperwork, and we’ll hear back after the committee meeting in a couple of weeks. We don’t know the “load in” or “load out” dates, but it will be early June and late July. It’s hard for me not having an exact plan, but I’m managing to cope (sort of.)
Show Statement: Brush Buddies
They met at the Watercolor Society of Oregon convention and for the last ten years, Tara Choate and Sandra Pearce have avidly painted the things that captured their attention. Sometimes together, most times apart.
Tara
Sandra
As you will see by this retrospective exhibition, Sandra’s attention rests mainly on the land, but Tara is more easily distracted. While both artists focus on watercolor—a medium of endless challenges and opportunities—Tara has also provided a selection of acrylic paintings and even some works in oil.
Tara and Sandra invite the viewer to share the things that capture their attention and think about what draws your attention. The two artists each have a unique perspective and style—can you tell their pieces apart at a glance?
Tara Choate
Tara Choate paints from her home base of Keizer, Oregon. She has been painting since 2006,and was accepted into the Watercolor Society of Oregon (WSO) in 2009. While she paints primarily in watercolor, she has recently added some acrylic and collage to her repertoire.
Sandra Pearce
Sandra’s recent work includes industrial scenes, both functioning and abandoned to history, as seen in her travels to Europe and around North America. She is excited by the abstraction of space and light and shadow, and delights in the calligraphic details offered by piping, railings and ladders. This is an inspiring direction for Sandra’s growth as an artist, while still living the joy and serenity of painting nature.
Due to image resolution and file size issues, Sandra and I have chosen not to all 60 paintings on our “social media” sites; you’ll just have to swing by the Keizer Community Center (930 Chemawa Road NE, Keizer, Oregon 97303) sometime (more details to come.) I will say that I think it’s going to be a really lovely show.
Plan: Returning to Work Full Time
Last Sunday, after taking a week off and then working two weeks part time due to a medication-induced breakdown, I felt ready to return to work full-time. I was nervous about it, but I went over some guidelines and exercises and thought I was ready for a new challenge. Monday went well–I did all my health breaks including my 1-hour lunch where I got a walk with the dog and a short yoga routine. I was tired at the end of the day, but it is work and you’re supposed to be tired.
Tuesday is where it all fell apart. The State of Oregon has reopened their offices, and most employees have been asked to return to on site work at least one day a week. Before all this happened, my boss and I had decided Tuesdays would be a good day to come in, and so on Tuesday I made my way to the office. I carefully packed good food and decided to take the dog, who could hang out in the car (underground parking, very cool, with a nice water bowl); Key would be a good excuse to make sure I took breaks. We got to work 45 minutes early and took a walk around the grounds, which really are lovely, spotting three different types of warblers along the way (okay, honestly, I was more excited about this than Key, but I think he had a good time.) After the walk, I “arrived” and went to a cubicle to set up and get going.
Things started to go downhill immediately. The cubicle I had checked out was available, but the docking station would not recognize my computer. I changed cubicles but that didn’t change the results. I went over various plugs and lines, thinking I must be missing something; this had worked the last time I was in. Thirty minutes later I was completely frustrated, told the office manager about the issue, put in a ticket to IT, and proceeded to TRY to do some work on my laptop (and only my tiny… little… laptop.) My initial plans for the day had required use of the side-by-side screens and a few other things, so I shifted gears.
Then the parade of people started, I work with lovely people, and I enjoy the company of (almost) all of them. For two years, all of us have seen digital versions of each other, but I think we can all agree that SEEING someone face-to-face is different. Quite a few people were in the office (maybe a dozen?) and people said hi to me and to each other. Conversations and catch-ups filled the air. People got sticky notes and cursed at the copier. All normal, except… it’s not normal anymore. I got increasingly tense, even though I had brought earphones and went down to see the dog at regular intervals. I completely lost sight of taking care of myself. I was following the plan, darn it. The plan was to take breaks with the dog and work in between. And I was going to do it or die trying. (Reality note: No one would have blinked if I had gone home at lunch, or even admitted it was too much.)
I saw this book on my Facebook feed and it spoke to me. I’m naturally an introvert and the last two years has only enhanced that. It shouldn’t have been shocking to find that being asked to work in an environment with a dozen people would be an adjustment. It probably shouldn’t have been rocket science that catching up with friends and hearing about their losses over the last couple of years would be disturbing.
I joke a lot about how difficult humans are to understand. But I probably need to remember that it’s not always a joke and that other people deal with it too.
My boss and I had a check-in in the late afternoon, and as you can imagine, I was well past seeing the forest (objective of taking it easy) for the trees (plan of working all day in the officr). All thoughts of being kind to myself, of taking breaks (I did go down to walk the dog regularly, but as the day progressed, those walks felt more like marches), and being aware of my mental state had vanished. I was in blind tunnel of “just make it through.” I walked into the meeting and my boss asked me if I was enjoying seeing everyone again. I said, “NO!” And here is where my boss gets the first of her two kudos. She looked at me, now rigidly sitting in a chair across from her, and said, “Maybe we should do this when you’re not so… tired.” I got up and stomped back to my cubicle. And cried for the rest of the day. But, by gum, I made it to the END OF THE DAY.
Honestly, I can’t quite figure out what prevented me from seeing that I had moved beyond a healthy space. Part of it is that at 8:30 when I was frustrated and frazzled with the computer stuff and I heard my little voice say, “Maybe it’s time to call it a day?”, industrious worker me scoffed and said, “You’ll never cope if you can’t even make it an hour.” And after that, everything felt like something that should have been no big deal, and I would DEAL WITH IT.
I made it home that evening and checked in with “L” (love you, L); as you may remember, L is my mental safety buddy and is specifically tasked with saying things like “Dial 911”, “Call Emergency”, and “Go to the urgent care.” She listened to my story and said, “I think you went back to work too soon.”
This information floored me. I had taken three weeks off. I had a plan. It SHOULD have been alright.
The next morning, I went into work and there was an email from my boss saying we should reschedule our check in. Within an hour, we were video conferencing. And here is the second kudo. Without preamble, my boss said, “Tara, I care about you and I’m worried about you. I think you came back too quickly. Mental health is nothing to fool around with.”
And I started crying again. She was right, but there was a PLAN! “I don’t know what to do,” I sobbed.
Within a few minutes we agreed that I would take the rest of the day off to do doctor stuff and to decompress. Then I’d return to work half time for the rest of the week and next week. Implied in the conversation is that we’d reassess as necessary.
So, my friends, I am back on medical leave. Choate Plan B. C? D?
Sometimes I will meet with friends who have children. I’m always amazed that they can function. I think of all the things I do to show up in life, and then multiply it by two for each friend’s child (possibly the significant human, if they have one, as well.) So, a mom (effort x 1) with two children (effort x 4) and a significant human (effort x 2) would have to put six times more effort into the average day than I do. These same friends sometimes talk about the difficulties of keeping everything going. I’m impressed that everyone is alive. I don’t care about laundry, house cleaning, or even small people wearing clothes.
The last couple of weeks have been a mental-health version of the keeping the kid alive. Each day, I’ve counted it as a win. I posted a couple weeks ago with an update about my mental health breakdown, but I didn’t post last weekend because there wasn’t anything to report, and I didn’t want work hard just to create a post. In the last two weeks, I’ve returned to work half time and I’ve completed a few tasks around the house, but it’s been extraordinarily quiet. I haven’t felt steady. As I explained to my mental health team, being on this new medication is like driving a new car; you’ve driven cars before, but you’re not sure where everything is in this one. My emotions are all over the place. I had trouble concentrating and felt exhausted after working for just half a day. This week was better than last week, but I am still fretting over things way past the healthy point.
And so, my friends, I do not have much art to show this week. Picking up a paintbrush has been one more thing than I could manage. I did some work on a long-term art project (hopefully I’ll write about this next week) and did a little work for the Watercolor Society of Oregon. But mostly it’s been walks with the dog, puzzles, and reading.
Today I did clean off my studio area and do a very small doodle in my art journal (3-D even!); however, art feels like mopping the flour while the toddler is on fire.
But never fear! I do have art news. My painting, “Glimmer” is in the 16th Annual Emerald Spring Exhibition 2022 at the Emerald Art Center in Springfield. This national painting competition features 66 top artists from all across the United States vying for cash awards. The exhibit runs from May 3 – June 3; Artist Reception is May 7, 5:30 – 7:30 pm and 2nd Friday Art Walk, May 13th, 5:30 – 7:30pm. I plan on attending the artist reception Saturday night, but like most everything else, that plan is subject to change.
Glimmer
I return to work full-time this week. While I have some anxiety about this, I have made some adjustments. First, I have decided to go back to 8-hour days. This allows me to flex my schedule as much as necessary (when I am working the 9-4-5 schedule, any deviations from my listed hours must be taken as personal leave). Second, I have decided to take one hour lunch breaks. This allows me time to leave the house and take the dog to the park. I’m hoping it will also allow me to decompress. In addition to these changes, I’ve spent today doing my weekly food prep and generally sorting through life to make sure the next week is as easy as I can make it
So, this week my goal isn’t to do a good job at work; adequate is enough. The goal isn’t to lose weight or get in shape; lack of hunger is more than sufficient. A great piece of art isn’t on the horizon; a doodle if I feel like is acceptable. The dog and cats being alive is satisfactory. The house still standing passes all necessary inspections.
