I think I blocked a few things out
I have said it before and I’ll probably say it again: I have a tough time with reality. At least twice a day I find myself looking at some person who has come into my little sphere and having trouble figuring out what is going on.
What’s completely depressing about this is that when I realize that it’s my own little sphere that’s warped.
Take my recent move.
For the last four weeks I’ve been packing up my entire life. I kept finding myself thinking “oh it will be over soon” and the little (logical) voice in my head would say “but what about unpacking?” And the stupid voice would say, “Oh, it’ll be fine.”
I’ve been “in” the Salem house now for four days and tonight I came home and all I could think was that this was a huge mistake.
Now, this “mistake” voice (is it bad that I’ve already described three voices?) has been surfacing more and more often, but tonight when I walked through the new door knowing that my big goal would be getting myself back on line, I just about ran for the hills.
I’m probably making it sound worse than it is. Here are some good things.
- The movers showed up on Sunday, pretty much on time. They were packing wizards. One told me he was #4 ranked at Tetris in the world. After watching him pack that truck, I believe it.
- I have an awesome Mom. She took care of Finn for the last few days, brought him back, helped me get set up, and took Finn to (another) vet appointment. She completely ROCKS.
- The fur children are settling in like it’s all no big deal. As soon as some of their soft sleeping places re-appeared, they acted like this was no big deal. Finn has been the most challenging, but today he used the back yard like champ and stayed home alone while I was at work. In fact, he seemed perturbed when I came home to let him out at lunch (I interrupted his nap!)
- I am back online. And it only took me four days to do it!
However, here are a few challenges.
- My box springs wouldn’t fit up the stairs. At the end of the move the movers were talking about sawing it in half (yes, I know it’s a thing. It’s weird) and my head about exploded. “We are NOT sawing anything in half!” I bellowed.
- I don’t have hot water in the showers. I do have hot water in the sinks, but not in the showers. It’s been tepid showers for the last few days. The contractors says he will come back tomorrow (oh, PLEASE!) to adjust something or another and get me hot water.
- The first night I slept here the fumes from the new carpet, etc. gave me a severe allergy problem. I think I scared Mom half to death when I announced at 6am that I thought I needed to go to urgent care because my heart was racing. Then when I went outside, the problem fixed itself. Since then we’ve had the windows open a little bit trying to get the place to air out.
- I honestly have blocked out how hard moving is. I thought I’d be all “la de dah” once I got here. Instead I’m just exhausted and a little depressed.
Voices and alternate reality aside, I think we (voices, fur children, me, and readers) can agree moving is hard and I need to give myself a little break.
Now if only I had some groceries.