Last evening, I finally accepted what had been obvious for ages. My tablet had died. The cause of death was that the power plug-in area somehow was not doing its thing, and so no cord would charge it up anymore. It took me more than a week to come to this conclusion and accept it. And accept it, I have. But I don’t like it.
It occurred to me as I was searching for replacement options (Would a new cord work? Or is a whole new tablet necessary?) that this little tale is a pretty good microcosm of the year 2022. We finally accepted things weren’t working, pouted about it, and began searching for a replacement. Or maybe that’s just my take on things.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who has commented that the combined, emotional arch of the last three years bears a strong resemblance to the grief cycle.
- Denial: March 2020 – What? Everything is cancelled? For two whole weeks? What?
- Anger: Summer 2020 – Masks? Mask mandates? People not wearing masks? People taking horse wormer? The world is ending!
- Bargaining: January 2021 – When we get this vaccine it will all be better.
- Depression: Summer 2021 – It’s not better.
- Acceptance: Summer 2022 – Whatever. I give up.
Obviously, it’s possible that this cycle was just me, but I’ve talked to a lot of folks who agree it’s been a tough few years. These same people talk about focusing on resting, reviving their mental state, and accepting the new… well, whatever we are now.
For me, this year was marked by a series of solid walls that didn’t just ask me to stop, they gave me no choice. Health challenges. Changes at work. A major, clinical mental health issue in the spring. A decision to move. A significant personal betrayal that left me reeling. The death of a good friend.
Since moving to the coast, I’ve spent a lot of time resting. I have said “No, I don’t want to.” And then not done it. I’ve taken this time to NOT achieve my goals. Not finalize things. Not make everything perfect. It was a good decision that gave me the space to think about where I want to go. Of course, that doesn’t mean I actually have a direction. But I know places I don’t want to revisit.
After this post, I will post my goal results for 2022. It wasn’t a bad year; I hit a lot of my goals. But there were a few areas that could stand improvement. I’m okay with that. Tomorrow, I will post 2023 goals. I’m not promising big changes, but I am feeling more focused and confident than I have for a while. Something new is already on the horizon.
Happy New Year, my friends. I’d love to know how you see the arc of your year.
One thought on “And so, she didn’t”
Great post. Several bumps in the 2022 road but the big one was the”it will never happen to me” cancer bump. Found on my annual mammogram. Very small but… More like a big mountain in the road. Actually very small tumor in my breast. Successful surgery and now radiation. But it is still CANCER. Nasty disgusting and terrifying word. Actually I m doing very well and if you gotta get cancer this is the one you want but… haven’t done much painting or anything else. Taken time off from gallery. Looking forward to fresh start in 2023. Get your mammogram!
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