Fallow

Fallow: (of farmland) plowed and harrowed but left unsown for a period in order to restore its fertility as part of a crop rotation or to avoid surplus production.

It’s been a couple of weeks since I wrote. That has been a deliberate choice. I’m concentrating on… well, I’m not sure. To say I’m concentrating on myself is not inaccurate, but it’s really more like I’m trying to get back in touch with something.

I haven’t made art. I haven’t done NaNoWriMo. I’ve just going to work and coming home. Working on getting in my daily step count, sleep, and doing food prep. I’ve read a little. Watched some TV. But even that is subdued.

Lately when I’ve been doodling (boring meetings still happen), I have been drawn to just make long, slow lines. Over and over. To me, they look like fields. Plowed but unplanted. Fallow fields.

That’s where I am. Fallow.

I’ve toyed with the idea of crop rotation as a metaphor, but it just doesn’t have the same appeal. In fact, it feels like what I always do; just move from one thing to another and hope the nutrients come back.

So, for right now, I’m resting. Fallow. Idle.