Little break that will last a while

Today I had to go to the doctor for shoulder pain. I got a shot and strict instructions to rest for a while; particularly repetitive movement has been outlawed. I probably shouldn’t even be typing tonight… so I’ll just do a photo essay of my trip down to see my mom last weekend.

Saturday – Seals at Whale Cove

Mom and I were going on a little adventure, exploring a new park to the south. We were just out of Depoe Bay at Little Whale Cove when I yelled, “Stop!” I spotted this huge group of seals on the cove below. I told Mom there were “hundreds”; I actually count closer to 40. But that’s still a lot! I even saw a black one.

Saturday – Beaver Creek

After the seal sighting we traveled south to Beaver Creek State Park, which is a park just to the inland of Ona Beach State Park. Neither Mom or I had ever been there before, but there were a lot of cool bugs in the marsh. Lots of birds too, though this egret and a nest of ospreys were about the only ones to make an appearance worthy of photography.

Sunday – Cascade Head (and Camera (really operator) Failure)

Mom has been taking a series of photography classes that combine a hike as well. I came down to join her for this one to Cascade Head. I promptly messed up the settings on my camera (typical me) so my shots are… well… unusually exposed. But the photography teacher was able to tell me what I did and I learned about the manual setting on my camera and how to manipulate the settings!

Giving myself a little break

At about 10am today I decided to give myself a night off. It wasn’t that I was having a horrible day, it’s that I was just tired and knew I had to get through a lot to make it through the day. I think that was a good decision. Here’s where I’m at.

1. My van pool driver didn’t show up this morning. Just didn’t show up. We still don’t know why, but eight of us were left standing there with no way down to work. Finally, a few people got in their cars and headed down and a few more of us decided to carpool, but it wasn’t an auspicious beginning to the day.

2. At work the office is moving. Actually, it’s more the office is rearranging. We’re staying in the same place, but the cubicles are being rearranged and all of us are being moved around. My mantra: “I’m an Indian, not a chief.” I’ve been hiding under my desk for about a week now and so far it’s a great strategy. Today was the first day of actual moving and tensions were high. Under the desk, man. It’s where to be.

3. Finn (my dog) is not feeling well. He has a great big hot spot on his rump and acts depressed and like he’s in pain. Historically, summers have not been the best for him, but it’s hard to see him hurting.

4. Bella (my cat, sister to Lola who died in November) is going downhill and it’s not fun. She’s now on soft food and is barely even eating that. The vet can’t find anything obviously wrong, so I think it’s a “make them comfortable” game from now on.

5. My friend Mary Margaret is moving. She and her husband are downsizing from two houses to one. Mary Margaret has great taste and I have always admired her couch. When I heard she was moving I inquired about the couch and recently purchased it from her. It really wasn’t my plan to purchase another couch until I was cat free (my cats are not kind to furniture) but Mary Margaret is moving now and my couch is ready to move along to that great living room in the sky. The “new” couch was delivered tonight and the old couch went away.

Here’s what Bella and Bob think of that.

By the time all the things were delivered and covered and rearranged, it was well past painting time. But I’d given myself the night off, so I wasn’t stressed.

Good job, Tara.

Technique vs. immitation

Before I launch into my artistic musings, I have exciting news to report: “Shoes and Shadows” got into the American Academy of Equine Art Fall Open Juried Exhibition & Sale! This means that I’ll be shipping it back to Lexington in a few weeks and it will be in the exhibition for about a month… including during the Breeder’s Cup which will be taking place just down the road at Keeneland!

shoesandshadowsThis is very exciting for me. This is the same organization I went to take a workshop with last fall. I’ll be exhibiting with some of the artists I admire most! So exciting!

Of course, this means that this painting can’t go into the fall WSO show, but I’ll try putting it into the spring show instead.

Okay… that’s out of my system. I’ll attempt to get back on point.

Technique vs. immitation

On Sunday I attended a poppy workshop put on by one of my favorite teachers, Patricia Schmidt. Patricia puts on a very details, well-paced workshop with a concentration on technique.

As I saw it, this workshop was focusing on masking techniques and layering techniques to create light effects. I was less interested in recreating Patty’s painting than on incorporating these ideas into my own paintings.

straightThis was a “straight” watercolor painting I did using close to the same colors Patty recommended.

samplesI didn’t have exactly the same colors on my palette, but with a little experimentation I got some nice tries.

I also used some liquid watercolors that I picked up at a garage sale. They are very bright, but staining.

inkIt was a good day. While the paintings aren’t great in and of themselves, they allowed me to try some new things, which is the point of these kind of classes.

I was amused to note, however, that most people in the class were more interesting in recreating Patty’s painting in every detail.

It got me thinking about the different stages of art. I think there are a lot of people who just enjoy painting. The recent surge of coloring books for adults is an indicating a lot of people just want to apply color to paper. I love this and feel like this a lot.

So what makes an artist different? I think coloring or copying other people’s works is good, but I am not sure it’s art. But artists borrow ideas all the time. Where’s the line?

If you have any thoughts, let me know. I’d love to start getting some comments on this blog (I get some on Facebook, but not so many right here.)

The Language of Birds

This morning I went out to the Bybee Lake area for a class put on by Metro called “Introduction to the Language of Birds.” This is the second time I’ve taken a class through Metro, and this was was really great as well.

waterwayWe started out with a quick lesson about the types of bird calls:

  • Alarm
  • Song
  • Young/Begging
  • Contact

Then we walked into the woods where it was our job to listen for the various calls.

The class was less about identifying birds than recognizing the different bird types. Still, I saw a bunch of new birds.

  • Greater Yellowlegs
  • Green Heron
  • Spotted Sandpiper
  • Wilow Flycatcher
  • Western Wood-Pewee

Unfortunately i was using a borrowed camera, so I didn’t get any really great shots.

After we learned about the various calls, we sat for 1/2 hour by ourselves along the path and made a “call map.” The idea was to let the various birds settle down and really listen to their calls. It was a really neat exercise and I wish my sketched map would scan in for me to show you.

At the end we went over our observations and then Dan (the Metro leader) showed us a little skeleton of a predator (maybe a mink) and explained that during one portion of the walk this could have been a type of predator we just didn’t see.

minkEven though it was hot and summer, I was really surprised by the variety of birds we saw and heard. I’ll look for more classes on this subject in the future.

 

 

The book didn’t cover hyperventilation

Today was the Clackamas River float and barbeque put on by the director of our agency. It’s just a fun trip she puts on based out of her home and I’ve really been looking forward to it. I was even more excited when I learned I was going to be in my very own little kayak-type boat for the ride.

myboat

My boat is the little red and white one in the middle.

After extensive preparation, we gathered for a safety talk and some pictures.

Then off we went.

We had been warned that the day could be rainy, and it started off overcast, but did move into full-blown rain as the day went on.

As they say, the worst day on the water is better than the best day at work, but there were a few minutes there when we were all a little too cold and wet for real happiness.

Unfortunately, I, in particular, struggled.

I had been quite worried about things like sinking (because of being overweight), falling out (because of being overweight), falling in general (because of being overweight), and other embarrassing tragedies. What I didn’t know about the day was that we would be going down a few “rapids.”

Now these are not the kind of rapids you see in the movies. They were mostly fast little places in the water. Think of the walkways at the airport: if you just stand on them they are so slow, but if you walk on them it feels SO fast. These rapids were like walking on the walkways. A little exciting, but nothing too challenging.

I’ve read a few books that have rafting in them. I’ve heard the basics: If you fall out, don’t panic. Put your feet downstream and just ride them out. We were all wearing life jackets. I didn’t feel too apprehensive.

The first three rapids went well. I would always be backwards at the end of the riffle, but I was upright and happy so all seemed well.

group4

The group as it enters a small “rapids.”

Then we got to the fourth little rapids. This, I was told, was “the most technical.” I listened to the instructions, but honestly I’m not sure what happened and found myself in the water. I pointed my feet downriver and prepared to ride it out. Then I hit a rock and got under the water. And the trouble began.

I couldn’t seem to get situated and started hyperventilating. I knew I was doing it, but I couldn’t seem to stop. A nice calm voice in my head was saying, “Point your feet downstream. You’re wearing a life vest. If your face gets a little wet, you won’t drown. Don’t fight. Let the water and the vest do the work.”

And a smaller but fiercer voice said,

“YOU NEED AIR!!!!!!!!”

I can’t say that I was under control, but I was just getting to a point that I wasn’t getting sucked down as consistently when a lovely, calm voice said, “Tara look at me.”

It was co-worker John. He was an experience water person in a big raft he had rented for his family for the day.

john3In the front of this picture you can see a little yellow bag. That’s a life line. He threw it to me, I grabbed it, and he dragged me in where I could grab onto the raft and ride it to shore.

Of course, everyone asked if I was okay and was concerned. I was still hyperventilating, but really embarrassed and feeling physically sore and a little sick to my stomach from sucking in so much of the river. Fortunately we had planned a little rest here, so the group took out and we had some snacks. However, this was at a point where it was really raining, so it was a short break.

Various groups offered to let me ride in the bigger rafts, which were generally reserved for families with younger children and I didn’t want to break that up. Also, I didn’t want to let the boat scare me, so I got back in.

Things went okay until the next rapid. This was was very shallow. This time I know what happened: my boat high sided and got turned sideways, and I went in. This time everything went according to plan and I just floated (feet first) down to calmer water. Everyone said I looked like a pro by now.

There was one last rapid before we put out, and I was determined to end the day on a high note. And I’m proud to say I made it.

It was a great group and I had a lot of fun.

reneeandfamily1

Co-worker Renee with her family in their inflatable kayak.

meta4

Co-worker Meta in her personal hard-plastic kayak.

danandfriend

Co-worker Dan with his friend in their green canoe.

kathy5

Co-worker Kathy with her cute little red kayak (she’s a pro and has a car rack and everything!)

brandiandfriend

Co-worker Brandi with her husband in their borrowed little blue raft/kayak hybrid.

abbyandcammi

Abby and co-worker Cammi (Abby is Cammi’s mom) as 1/2 of a borrowed raft team.

john4

Co-worker John (lifeline guy!) with his mom, dad, and son in their raft.

We also saw a nice variety of birds: turkey vultures, bald eagles, osprey, red-tailed hawk, kestrel, blue heron, common merganser, cliff and barn swallows. The swallows were so much fun to watch skimming along the water, right next to us.

But I’m sore tonight, and not just from my dunks in the river. That paddling is hard work. And I skinned my knees several times.

I am so proud of myself for trying this. And so ashamed and embarrassed about all my tumbles and rescues. I know, intellectually, that someone always falls out. But I wish it hadn’t been me.

Will I go next year? I don’t know. I hope to have lost some more weight. Maybe I’ll rent (or own) something a little more stable for myself, or even take lessons. We’ll just have to see.

Some weeks…

Some weeks seem longer than others, and this one seemed exceptionally long. So to celebrate the end, we went for a short hike around a (very dry) Canemah this evening.

I saw this unusual fledgling sparrow.

youngbirdI spied a kestrel sitting in a tree next to a goldfinch.

twobirdsThe madronas have had their bark sunburned off and are now nearly white.

madronaandmoonAnd as I left I saw a lovely young doe (reports are she has two fawns, but they must have been resting nearby) having a little snack of blackberries.

Someone Else’s Palette

A few months ago I went to an estate sale of a Watercolor Society of Oregon member named Carol Winchester. At the sale I picked up 50 sheets of watercolor paper (such a steal of a deal) and a used palette.

palettePalettes are a tool I love and have (too) many of. I don’t have one in this exact configuration, though, so I figured that even if I washed out all the paint, for $1.00 it was a good deal.

Last week I decided to put it to use to start a paint of the Brooks Falls bears I have been watching on a webcam. I was caught by a small series of images of a bear in the morning and thought the contract of its warm fur against the dark background might be just the thing.

bearMy palette doesn’t have just the color blue I wanted to use, and while I could have made do, I decided to use my “new” palette and experiment a little.

Many established watercolor artists establish a range of colors in particular brands and just keep adding those colors to the palette. They permanently mark the colors on the outside of the well to keep themselves organized.

namesI moistened the colors and began.

bearI’m loving the Windsor blue, and having the cobalt turquoise right there is proving to be fun. I’m very envious of Carol’s palette and I want to experiment with some of the other colors before I finish. I’m even thinking that maybe it’s time to expand my own palette a little.

 

No, I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth

It’s been a couple of weeks since I have updated the blog. Part of that has been I’ve just been trying to give myself a break, and part of that is that I’ve been super busy. So here’s a catch up and I’ll try to post something a little more relevant and art related soon.

So for a couple of days after writing my “giving up post”  I just took a deep breath and got back as much as possible into Weight Watchers again. For me that means a “white knuckle” period that requires a lot of deep breathing and concentration.

The following Wednesday was my usual painting night. Instead of painting I decided to watch a couple of instructional videos by Joseph Zubkvic. So, there aren’t any painting pictures to post about that.

On the 11th I went to the Portland Farmer’s Market (ranked #2 in the country) and then to the Bastille Day Celebration at the Portland Art Museum. While there I participated in a quick draw portrait contest. I drew my friend Lea who was supposed to be doing the emotion of amused sadness. You’re guess is as good as mine if I captured it.

leaThen on Sunday I headed up to Emerald Downs for the Equine Art show. I was more than a little disappointed that my paintings didn’t do better, but I did sell “Weiner’s Circle” and got some great reference photos for future work.

startThis week passed along at its usual breakneck speed. I’m delighted to report my (renewed) vigilence resulted in a 5lb weight loss and I’ve continued the good work this week.

Wednesday I started some paintings, though a few are “stealth projects” and so I’ll have to pend pictures. I hope to write more about the process on the painting below tomorrow.

bearThe last couple days I’ve taken some hikes through Canemah. It’s SO dry. And high summer, so all the little birds and animals are in hiding from young predators just learning their business. But bugs are also out and about and decided to pose for me.

dragonfly spiderAnd today I “wasted” most of my day canning beans and watching movies. I don’t know why I can’t do things in a more moderate manner, but I have 63 pints down with another 3-4 batches to be canned. Still, I’ll be glad in the winter.

 

 

 

Keeping it real (about giving up)

Last week I gave up on Weight Watchers.

Something just gave in me and I ate everything. This was a conscious decision. I knew I was doing it.

I kept a few things from my healthy ways. I packed lunch a couple of days. I walked at lunch and took the dog for hikes.

But essentially, I just ate things and reveled in a general feeling of self-loathing.

I’m not sure exactly what gave. I wrote about my bad Monday (thank you everyone for your kind words). And yes, that was a trigger. But, before that I bought the bullet and loaded the gun. I was just waiting for an excuse to pull the trigger.

On Friday (and this is related) I met with someone who will be taking over the Watercolor Society of Oregon website. That was a hard meeting, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. There will be a few months of transition, but it’s one thing that is going away. A few weeks ago I decided to give up the Three Rivers Artist Guild website and marketing committee, and those changes have already been made.

On Saturday I decided to stop offering AirBNB.

I looked at my weekly schedule and thought about what could go. And I changed my Sound Equine Options day to Saturdays. I might not be able to do it every week, but having an extra weeknight to relax will help me.

On Sunday I slept until almost noon, missing church and every other thing I could or should have done.

And about 3:00 on Sunday I walked to my refrigerator and knew I had to make a choice. A real choice. A week of eating (or even 5 months of slow sliding) is not the end. Assuming I am not hit by a bus, life will go on and I will either get older and healthier or older and diseased. I needed to decide whether I wanted to be on Weight Watchers and still tell people “I’m working on improving my lifestyle” or whether I wanted to face an eventual return to my previous weight and probably more.

I thought about the good things that have happened over the last 15 months: I’m breathing better, my blood sugar is more level, my blood pressure has dropped, I am off one medication, my cholesterol is heading in the correct direction, it no longer hurts to walk. At one point I was within 12 pounds of being able to ride a horse. I was dreaming about taking canoeing lessons.

And I thought about the freedom to eat and overeat as my problem solver. I thought about going into Weight Watchers on Monday and facing another gain (it would be a big one this week.)

I got in the car and went to the grocery store. And stalked up on the makings of salads and healthy snacks.

I’m not ready to give up.

Monday I weighed in and faced the music. At my best, back in February, I had lost a total of 88 pounds. As of Monday I have regained 32.6 pounds (for a total loss of 55.4 pounds.) M

I am not feeling confident, but I am feeling like I am going to try again. I’m going to concentrate on the following:

  1. Breakfast: I’m doing well, and I’m going to add back in a yogurt because I felt better when I had that
  2. Morning snack: My first challenge. I’m packing an extra fruit and working to remove the chocolate bar (or more) that has entered here.
  3. Lunch: Another doing well. I’m going to keep packing my salad in a jar.
  4. Afternoon snack: I’ve been doing well here, but I’m going to change it up. I’m going to get a Starbucks 2 times a week (not every day) and pack an extra veggie. I’ve been toying with the idea of adding a fruit here.
  5. Dinner: My most challenging. I don’t cook, so it’s mostly frozen meals. But I need to do some canning to get some veggies stashed away for the winter. In the meantime… well, in spite of it being summer, I’m feeling clueless.
  6. Exercise: I’m averaging about 45 minutes around the office and I’d like like to work on getting a walk with the dog to bring it up to 75 minutes. It’s so hot though… (insert a small whine here)

My Weight Watchers instructor is always talking about a couple of things. One, we are here [at Weight Watchers] to change our relationship with food. And two, there is no limit on second chances.

I need to remember those things. There is no one that I love who if they came to me and said, “I’m going to start Weight Watchers again” I would say “Oh, you can’t. You’ve tried before and one time is all you get.”

We were challenged a few weeks ago to come up with a vision board. I had to raid Pintrest, but here are a few that I need to keep in mind.

d04d354167abd82236dfb6234edc4f51

43ec40a92bdedc6558008662f6fc04f4rp_tarajgj-300x211.jpg21b8f5d6fb5f7f920c29ea7bbf2611f1ff7dba8b238ae5d0de083a00155c6b17acc0f21dc94dff663f86354e26f4d1d3I don’t know  if I can do this. But I know that if I had three wishes, I would wish to loose weight. This is a wish that I can make happen.