As odd as this is, I’ve been thinking a lot about this incident.
Either it’s the final straw before I have a psychotic breakdown, and therefore my team of psychiatrists should know about it before I am taking to the hospital, or it’s definitive proof that the civilization has ended.
- Sunday I went to church. I got there a few minutes early. I put down my purse and keys on a pew and went to use the bathroom. There was hardly anyone in church.
- When I came out of the bathroom, I went back to the pew.
- Someone had decided to sit in “my seat.” The church now looked about like this.
- This issue of “my seat” has troubled me. It isn’t like I had an emotional attachment to that spot. I just chose it. Not exactly at random. I usually sit on that side of the church, about in the middle. But it isn’t like I had a Sheldon-like obsession with the spot. If someone had been sitting there when I arrived, I would have picked some other spot.
- This person had taken my purse and keys and dumped them into the aisle. Again, I need to elaborate on my mental state. I thought this was rude. But the “culprit” was an older woman, not terribly well-dressed or put together… maybe even slightly sick looking. So, I thought, maybe she needs this spot in some emotional way that I do not. And maybe dumping my stuff in the aisle didn’t seem rude to her. Maybe it was the best she could do.
Note: “Dumped” may be an exaggeration. This person probably “set” my purse and keys in the aisle.
- I calmly picked up my purse and keys and chose another seat. The seat I chose was one pew up.
- I sat down. I have a seat now. Life is good.
- Seat stealer leans forward and says, “Excuse me, can you move over? I can’t see.”
- I grab my purse and keys and march out of church.
Note: This is 100% accurate.
- Once outside, I sat on a bench and thought about what just transpired. I’m 90% convinced that:
- I’m dealing with someone who is unwell.
- Irritation is a rational response
- I’m in church and the point of church is to learn to love people, even irritating spot stealers who dump your purse in the aisle
- I re-enter the church (calmly) and pick a completely different spot, well in back of spot stealer. I pick up the bulletin and read about what’s going on.
- Spot stealer approaches me and says… well… something. Unfortunately, it was now loud enough with people talking and her voice wasn’t very loud that I had trouble hearing. I am pretty sure she asked for my name though, because she motioned to my name tag (which had flipped over.)
- And here, folks, I did not behave well. I said, “Thanks, it’s fine.” And went back to reading my bulletin.
I need to work on Mark 12:31.