As odd as this is, I’ve been thinking a lot about this incident.

Either it’s the final straw before I have a psychotic breakdown, and therefore my team of psychiatrists should know about it before I am taking to the hospital, or it’s definitive proof that the civilization has ended.

1. Sunday I went to church. I got there a few minutes early. I put down my purse and keys on a pew and went to use the bathroom. There was hardly anyone in church.

This is a photo off the internet, not the actual church.

2. When I came out of the bathroom, I went back to the pew.
3. Someone had decided to sit in “my seat.” The church now looked about like this.
4. This issue of “my seat” has troubled me. It isn’t like I had an emotional attachment to that spot. I just chose it. Not exactly at random. I usually sit on that side of the church, about in the middle. But it isn’t like I had a Sheldon-like obsession with the spot. If someone had been sitting there when I arrived, I would have picked some other spot.
5. This person had taken my purse and keys and dumped them into the aisle. Again, I need to elaborate on my mental state. I thought this was rude. But the “culprit” was an older woman, not terribly well-dressed or put together… maybe even slightly sick looking. So, I thought, maybe she needs this spot in some emotional way that I do not. And maybe dumping my stuff in the aisle didn’t seem rude to her. Maybe it was the best she could do.
   Note: “Dumped” may be an exaggeration. This person probably “set” my purse and keys in the aisle.
6. I calmly picked up my purse and keys and chose another seat. The seat I chose was one pew up.
7. I sat down. I have a seat now. Life is good.
8. Seat stealer leans forward and says, “Excuse me, can you move over? I can’t see.”
9. I grab my purse and keys and march out of church.
   Note: This is 100% accurate.
10. Once outside, I sat on a bench and thought about what just transpired. I’m 90% convinced that:
    1. I’m dealing with someone who is unwell.
    2. Irritation is a rational response
    3. I’m in church and the point of church is to learn to love people, even irritating spot stealers who dump your purse in the aisle

11. I re-enter the church (calmly) and pick a completely different spot, well in back of spot stealer. I pick up the bulletin and read about what’s going on.
12. Spot stealer approaches me and says… well… something. Unfortunately, it was now loud enough with people talking and her voice wasn’t very loud that I had trouble hearing. I am pretty sure she asked for my name though, because she motioned to my name tag (which had flipped over.)
13. And here, folks, I did not behave well. I said, “Thanks, it’s fine.” And went back to reading my bulletin.

I need to work on Mark 12:31.